Monthly Archives: June 2018

Releasing  Limiting  Beliefs:  Cultivating  Your  Inner  Dandelion  of  Growth

In  life,  we’re  often  held  back  by  limiting  beliefs.  Much  like  a  dandelion’s  seeds,  waiting  to  be  released  into  the  wind, we  need  to  let  go  of  these  beliefs  and  phrases  that  don’t  serve  us.

These  beliefs,  frequently  rooted  in  negative  messages  from  others  or  self-doubt,  can  hinder  our  well-being. Whether  you’re  on  a  journey  of  personal  growth  or  simply  seeking  to  navigate  life’s  challenges  more  effectively,  I challenge  you  to  release  these  common  limiting  messages  and  beliefs  that  may  be  holding  you  back:

1. “My Problems  Aren’t  as  Bad  as  Someone  Else’s”

Comparing your struggles to those of others can minimize your own challenges and prevent you from seeking the support and care you need. Each person’s experiences are unique and valid. YOUR struggles are important and dismissing them doesn’t make yours, or the person you are comparing with, any better.

2. “I Just  Need  to  Be  Stronger”

Enduring  emotional  hardship  doesn’t  mean  you  have  to  be  strong  all  the  time.  It’s  okay  to  seek  help  and acknowledge  vulnerability  as  a  strength.  And  often  it’s  not  even  about  strength,  it’s  about  having  the  right  tools  and the  right  support.  Imagine  a  skilled  craftsman  trying  to  hammer  a  round  peg  into  a  square  hole  –  no  matter  how strong  he  is,  without  the  right  tools,  success  is  unlikely.

3. “Put Your  Big  Girl  Panties  On”

This  is  probably  my  least  favorite  negative  message.  This  message  suggests  that  showing  vulnerability  is  a  sign  of weakness.  In  truth,  embracing  vulnerability  and  seeking  help  can  be  empowering  and  liberating!  There  is  profound strength  in  vulnerability.  As  Brene  Brown  says,  “vulnerability  is  not  not  weakness;  it’s  our  greatest  measure  of courage”.

4. “At Least  It’s  Not  as  Bad  as  So  and  So”

Comparing  your  struggles  to  those  of  others  can  downplay  your  own  challenges  and  hinder  you  from  seeking  the support  and  care  you  need.  Each  person’s  experiences  are  unique  and  valid.  Your  struggles  are  important,  and dismissing  them  doesn’t  make  yours,  or  the  challenges  faced  by  the  person  you  are  comparing  with,  any  less significant.

5. “I’m Fine”

How  many  times  have  you  said  this  or  heard  a  loved  one  use  this  phrase?  How  many  times  did  you  believe  them? Dismissing  your  emotions  and  experiences  with  “I’m  fine”  can  prevent  you  from  addressing  issues  that  need attention.  Validating  your  feelings  is  an  important  step  in  personal  growth.

6. “It’s Not  That  Big  of  a  Deal”

This  message  can  lead  to  underestimating  the  impact  of  your  experiences  and  neglecting  the  healing  and  growth that  may  be  required.

7. “Just Don’t  Worry  About  It”

Suppressing  your  concerns  and  worries  can  hinder  self-awareness  and  personal  development.  Acknowledging your  worries  is  a  vital  part  of  personal  growth.  Has  telling  someone  to  “not  worry  about  it”  ever  worked?  Nope!  In fact,  many  times  it  increases  the  worry.

Letting  Go  for  Growth

Letting  go  of  limiting  beliefs  is  akin  to  a  dandelion  releasing  its  seeds  into  the  wind,  allowing  them  to  disperse  and take  root,  fostering  new  growth  and  positivity.  Whether  you  opt  for  therapy  or  embark  on  a  personal  growth  journey independently,  shedding  these  beliefs  can  be  profoundly  liberating  and  empowering.  It’s  a  pivotal  step  toward cultivating  your  inner  dandelion  of  growth,  enabling  the  roots  of  resilience  and  well-being  to  run  deep.

Now, gently close your eyes, take a deep breath, and envision yourself on the verge of blowing the seeds of a dandelion. As you exhale, articulate the negative and limiting beliefs you are grappling with, and visualize them gracefully blowing away, carried by the wind of renewal.

Sending  dandelion  wishes, Alina

Breaking the Stigma Surrounding Mental Health
It’s Time to Speak Up and Seek Help
Mental illness is not a dirty word. In a world where certain terms or subjects were whispered like forbidden secrets in our childhood, it’s crucial to acknowledge that mental health should be talked about openly and without shame.
When I was little, the word “butt” was a bad word in my house. When I heard other kids or adults using this word, even in my young brain, I wondered, “If they are saying ‘butt,’ are they bad too?” Little did I know, this early experience would shape my perception of how words and topics could carry unnecessary stigma.
Outside of my therapy world, where I’m known as a therapist, I’ve encountered people sharing about their personal experiences with mental health. It’s almost as if they whisper, “My son has anxiety,” “I struggle with OCD,” “I might have trauma.” But these whispers are often followed by statements of dismissal: “But it’s fine,” “I’m fine,” “I just need to get over it,” “They just need to get better friends,” “I bet they’d feel better if they just think about the positives.” These statements perpetuate the negativity surrounding mental health and the needs of those struggling with a mental health issue.
While awareness about mental health is growing, there’s still a pervasive “not in my backyard” attitude. However, the reality is that millions of people in the U.S. are affected by mental illness each year. The likelihood is that you have encountered, will encounter, or will likely experience a mental health issue at some point in your life. The “not in my backyard” (NIMBY) mentality is a common attitude when it comes to mental health and other societal issues. In the context of mental health, the NIMBY mindset often means that individuals are more accepting of or empathetic toward mental health issues when they’re affecting someone else, but they may have a different perspective when it’s a concern within their own lives.
Here are common factors at play:
Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health isn’t just about understanding others; it’s about understanding ourselves as well. It’s important to recognize if we’ve been conditioned to believe that mental illness is something “bad” or “weak.” To help you
reflect on this, here are some questions and prompts to consider:
1. Stigma and Denial:

● Have I ever downplayed my own mental health challenges or dismissed them as “not a big deal”?
● Do I find it easier to offer support and empathy to others with mental health issues, but struggle to do the same for myself?
● Have I ever heard myself or others say things like, “In my family, we just deal with it”? What does this statement reveal about my attitudes toward mental health?
2. Fear of Weakness:
● Have I ever hesitated to seek help for my mental health because I worried about appearing weak or vulnerable?
● Do I hold the belief that being strong means not asking for help when it comes to mental health?
● How has societal pressure to “tough it out” influenced my perception of mental health challenges?
3. Misconceptions:
● What misconceptions have I held about mental health issues? For example, have I believed that mental illness is extremely rare, or that it makes someone “crazy”?
● Have I ever been hesitant to seek therapy because I thought it was unnecessary, or because I believed that others have it worse than I do?
● How have these misconceptions affected my willingness to address my own mental health?
4. Lack of Understanding:
● Have I ever supported friends or family members dealing with mental health issues, but lacked a comprehensive understanding of what they were going through?
● Do I recognize that I might have underestimated the depth of the struggles involved in mental health challenges?
● How can I improve my understanding of mental health to better support both myself and those around me?
5. Cultural and Generational Factors:
● How has my cultural background or the generation I belong to influenced my attitudes toward mental health?
● Am I part of a culture or generation that emphasizes self-sufficiency and resilience to the extent that seeking help is seen as a sign of weakness?
● Can I identify ways in which these cultural or generational factors have shaped my perceptions of mental health?Understanding our own biases and conditioning regarding mental health is a crucial step in breaking the stigma. By asking these questions and reflecting on our attitudes, we can work toward a more compassionate and accepting approach to mental health, both for ourselves and for those around us.
Fast Facts About Mental Health:
● 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year.
● 1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year.
● 1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year.
● 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24.
● Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-14.

These statistics underscore the importance of addressing mental health with compassion, understanding, and a commitment to reducing stigma.

One of my favorite parts about being a therapist is witnessing not only the tremendous benefits that clients experience but also the positive ripple effects in their inner circles. Clients have shared stories like, “I use that skill you taught me in therapy at work all of the time and it works!”, “My mom actually respects my boundaries now,” and “My friend said she’s been wanting to get therapy too and was encouraged when I opened up to her.”

Personal Stories of Triumph
Case 1: Overcoming the Shadows of Anxiety
Emily, a young woman in her 20s, struggled with crippling anxiety. She found it challenging to leave her home and interact with others. After seeking therapy, she learned strategies to manage her anxiety and gradually began to participate in activities she once avoided. Today, she’s a confident and outgoing individual who can proudly say that anxiety no longer controls her life. Does she still manage symptoms of anxiety? Yes, but now she has the skills and confidence to not allow anxiety to steal her joy.
Case 2: Liberating the Spirit from Trauma
Jake had experienced traumatic events throughout his life, leading to severe emotional distress. He spent years believing that his trauma wasn’t as bad as other people’s and therefore with time he’d just get over it. Years went by and his distress only worsened. Through therapy, he confronted his past and started his healing journey. Not only did his life transform, but his newfound resilience also inspired others to seek help and start their own journey toward healing.
Case 3: Embracing Authenticity and Setting Boundaries
In her 30s, Sarah grappled with self-worth and struggled to set healthy boundaries in her relationships. Through therapy, she gained the confidence to assert herself and develop healthier connections. Her personal growth also inspired her friends to explore their own relationship values and boundaries, concepts they hadn’t previously considered.

How to deal with Mental Health Stigma?
● Don’t delay getting treatment.
● Use Facts to share the truth about mental health.
● Tell your story (if you want.)
● Be mindful of your language and your tone and approach when speaking about mental health issues.
● Speak up when you hear people make inappropriate comments about mental illness. People living with mental illness should be respected and accepted just like everyone else.
● Join a support group.
● Remember that you are more than your mental illness.
Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health starts with open conversations and sharing personal stories of triumph. It’s time to embrace mental health as a crucial part of our overall well-being. Seek help when needed, support those around you, and remember that seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness; it’s a powerful step towards growth, healing, and living a more fulfilling life. It’s time to let go of the whispers and replace them with a resounding call for understanding, empathy, and acceptance.
Sending dandelion wishes, Alina

Grief is a profound journey, a path uniquely carved by the echoes of loss. If you’re reading this, you may be traversing the intricate terrain of grief, seeking understanding and solace. As you embark on this deeply personal journey, it’s crucial to know that the traditional stages of grief, once thought to be a roadmap, are now seen as mere signposts on the vast landscape of your emotions.

You might have heard about the stages proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But here’s the truth: grief is not a linear path. It’s a journey that unfolds uniquely for each person. You may find yourself revisiting certain emotions or skipping stages altogether. Your grief is a mosaic of feelings, and it’s okay if it doesn’t neatly fit into a predefined order. It’s not about conforming to stages but understanding that your emotions are as varied as the colors in a sunset.

Here are a few grief quotes that echo the emotional depth of this journey:
● “Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II
● “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
● “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest.” – Unknown
● “When our loved one dies, we also lose our future self. Who would we be had they not left our world? The version of us that could only be elicited by their presence and love over time doesn’t exist, and that’s a profound loss too.

As you navigate your unique journey, remember that clinicians are here to guide, not dictate. They are grief companions. Your grief deserves to be felt in its authenticity. They offer empathy, active listening, and a safe space for you to express the myriad of emotions that grief brings. Your healing is a process of self-discovery, and clinicians are here to support you, to empower you to find your way through.

In understanding grief, remember that your journey is as unique as your fingerprint. The changing landscape of grief allows for a more compassionate and individualized approach. As you walk this path, know that your emotions are valid, your journey is honored, and you are not alone. Your grief is a testament to the love you shared, and in time, you’ll find your own rhythm of healing and understanding.
Sending dandelion wishes, Alina